I’ll start with a few things I have really gotten my mind around this past (my final as a 20-something) year:
When I am forgiven, I am forgiven.
It is one thing to walk up to a friend who I have hurt or offended or put out and sincerely apologize, walk away and know I have done what is right. Forgiveness is up to them.
It seems entirely different to do so to the King of the Universe who IS the definition of Righteousness! However, for the most peace I have enjoyed with the King in 30 years, when John says that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive them, that’s for REAL. Out of a broken spirit (Psalm 51:17) when I confess my unrighteousness to God, He flat out forgives it–no religious duty–THAT’S WHY CHRIST DIED!
My wife is not the girl of my dreams.
(she knows this by the way)
And thank God for it!
Paul says “when I was a child, I thought like a child, but when I became a man, I put that stuff away (loose translation 1 Corinthians 13:11).
I had in my mind what a wife should be. My “dream girl” was one who played well into my insecurities, pandered to my ridiculous thoughts, and compensated for every corner of my dark and fearful heart.
What I later realized is if I had married that woman, she would have been, not the girl of my dreams, but the worst nightmare.
In the joys, the excitement, the tears, the difficulties, God uses M. in incredible ways to grow me and make me very aware of my need for the redemptive Gospel in all areas of my life. I cannot hide from her, and I am so thankful for her.
I can grieve deeply about someone I have never met.
This past year, M. was carrying a baby, C. for name purposes, and God in His infinite wisdom saw to take C. to be with Him. I don’t question God’s plan because it is wise (btw His foolishness is wiser than the wisdom of man 1 Corinthians 1:25), but I found great surprise in the way that, having never met C. personally, and only having some funky pictures (sorry C., you know this is true), I grieve deeply over this child.
God has vividly taught me that children are a blessing from the Lord, and parents are at best, wonderful stewards and incubators of a life created by the King. Yet the pain remains. And I am glad. Sorrow is a part of understanding the brokenness of this place, and the greatness of our Redeemer. (Ecclesiastes 1:18).
My Mother is way too beautiful to have two children who are 30!
enough said.
Preparation to communicate God’s Word is extremely crucial and completely useless.
I have the opportunity VERY often to stand in front of people and communicate what God has written in His Bible and what I believe is culturally efficacious.
I have learned that I MUST prepare with great discipline, great fervor and certainly much prayer. This is crucial so that when I stand to speak I may have purged as much ignorance and self as possible whereby I may “get out of the way.”
That said, my preparation is completely useless. Regardless of my time and effort, If God does not speak when I stand, NOTHING meaningful is said.
